By Chuck Sooter
"There is a lesson for all of us in this case. What I’ve observed is that life is fraught with conflict and controversy and no one is immune from losing their temper under the right circumstances. The higher-order issue is not who is right, but how to make it right. The only good remedy to personal disputes of this nature is to apologize, forgive, and move on. It is impossible to reconcile with someone until you have forgiven them. Most mediated civil harassment cases are settled in exactly this way, sometimes with more formal ground rules for behaviors."
"In conflict mediation, the past is seldom discussed, but instead, closure is gained by getting back on the right path. I often suggest that no matter who is more at fault, the bigger person should apologize first as an initial step toward reconciliation and normalization of civility. After some venting, soul searching, and time to calm down, over 90% of the mediated cases settle with a handshake. If both gentlemen involved in this dispute apologize and forgive, I would consider them both to be the bigger man. The ideal solution is always for the parties in a dispute to remember to be hard on the issues but soft on the people. Life’s too short to carry a grudge."
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